Love: Expressed Through Open Palms, Closed Fist, and Tight Lips

Am I worse?
Do I hit harder, if not literally, figuratively?
Do the imprints last longer?
Do I say sorry?
Am I like him?
Am I worse

I don't want to be like that.
I can't be like that.
I am nice.
I am kind,
But my hand hit her skin.
Am I worse?

What kind of mark did I leave?
I see your face frozen in shock,
In pain,
In front of me.
Can I be becoming this monster?
Can I feel this rage boiling inside of me for no reason?
Can I feel this hatred boiling inside of me,
Exactly where love should be?
Will I be an empty chasm, like him?
Will I be worse?
Am I worse?

I don't want to be like that.
I love you.
Open palmed,
I know it didn't sting your flesh,
But I can't see your heart.
I can't see the heart that I already know is bruised, broken, and cut.
Did I make it worse?
Please tell me that you didn't see him when you looked at me,
Tight lipped,
Angry Eyes,
Open palm.

I know what it looked like,
The monster inside.
I've seen it for too long.
Tight lipped,
Angry Eyes,
Closed Fist.
Another gash sliced through your heart.
Please tell me this one wasn't deeper.
Please tell me this one wasn't worse.
Please tell me this one wasn't the worst you've ever felt.
Please tell me you'll forgive me.

I promise I'll never do it again.

Tight lipped,
Angry Eyes,
Open palmed,
Closed fist.
We are the same,
Aren't we?

Storytime #3

It was dark, clammy, and cold in the all too clean room where her daughter lay on the cold slab of a table, her final resting place. Her mother stifled a cry, covering her mouth with her hand. This couldn't be happening to her baby girl. It couldn't be. Her baby girl's skin was pale, too pale, her lips were almost blue. The woman standing over her gave her a sad nod of recognition. She covered her baby girl with a blue sheet signifying death. She couldn't just stand there and sob. She rushed at her baby girl, just wanting to hold her one last time.

"You know we can't let you do that, ma'am. It's protocol. It's what she signed up for." A man said emerging from a corner.

The mother stood there screaming, bawling in agony, knowing every word he spoke is true.

"I'm told she even went out with that flame in her eye." The man said to the mother, "The same one you have in yours, no pun intended."

The mother reached out her arms, ready to claw out the man's eyes like a primitive beast. He wagged his finger in her face, mocking her with every move he made, "Mummy, you're the one who signed your precious little baby girl up for this. You can't blame me now."

"I can blame you for whatever the hell I want!" the mother screamed.

Her eyes grew wide as the man reached for his side. She knew what was coming next. She closed her eyes. It had finally caught up with her.

She didn't even let out a scream as she went down. Her final gaze at her daughter's stone cold figure above her.

"I love you." She said with her final weak breaths.